Tale 13 - The Bible Was Written By Surfers: The Professor and the gang go looking for the author of the bible with Geraldo Rivera in tow. Work with us on this one.
Tale 12 - Attack Of The Leisure Suit Vampires: The Professor and his band go on tour and run across a really old enemy of the Graves family.
Tale 11 - Vacation To The Center Of The Earth: The gang sets off for the great white north to find the lost world spoken of by Alistair Crawley and his fellow kooks, only to find some other kooks.
Tale 10 - Why Is There Snow In Peru: Its a metaphor man! We set off for South America to do what the DEA can't . . . clean up the mess left by the Conquistadors.
Tale 9 - The Neilson's Are Devil Worshippers: We venture off to TV land to fight the ultimate evil (keeping in mind that this was written before Clinton came into office). We even bring you a little hard-core T&A.
Tale 8 - What's The Deal With The Bermuda Triangle: We are off on a little sea voyage to discover the whole missing boat thing and we discover a lot more than reporters from the National Enquirer.
Tale 7 - Dimensional Jam Session: The Professor and his associates get sucked into another dimension while preparing for their concert and meet Elvis.
Tale 6 - Your Neighbor Could Be An Evil Mutant: The Professor and his associates take on a Pharmaceutical firm run by an ex-Nazi.
Tale 5 - Do Werewolves Get Mange: The Professor and the boys head for Nevada and hang out with some Indians and prove that the sequel, American Werewolf In Paris, was unnecessary as well as stupid.
Tale 4 - Is Atlantis A Really Private Resort: Hanging out in the deep blue sea looking for the mythological island. And is there a McDonalds there?
Tale 3 - What Happened to the Sun God: You thought the movie Stargate was a load of crap. So did I until I saw Ra slamming around Set in Tokyo.
Tale 2 - Day of the Dead Dudes: My first adventure with the Professor. You would think taking a trip to Rome would be cool. Tell that to the Zombie that tried to chew on my noggin.
Tale 1 - How We Met: The beginning of it all, where Mister Benson meets the Professor and some of his associates.
January 1998's Debate: The crew summarizes the events of 1997.
December 1997's Debate: Vince goes off on collect calls which eventually evolves into a little playlet with the Professor.
January 1997's Debate: The Professor and the others ponder the reason the Bob Dole presidential campaign failed so miserably.
October 1996's Debate: The Professor goes off on the cereal manufacturers attempt to try and make you think they are cutting prices for you.
July 1996's Debate: An instance where the Professor, Aarron and Benson argued the merits (or lack thereof) of McDonalds terrible attempt to make food. No lawsuits yet.
May 1996's Debate: The debate revolving around Israel's political and moral bankruptcy. Read it if you have an open mind and don't think that by merely talking bad about Israel means you are a Jew hater.
February 1996's Debate: The group discusses the fact that Saturday morning cartoons have gone to hell.
January 1996's Debate: The 1995 recap where the Professor states that the Million Man March was the most significant event of 1995.
MST3K Episode 1013 Episode Rant This is the final episode (broadcast wise).
MST3K Episode 213 Episode Rant We are talking about Godzilla vs The Sea Monster in honor of the release of the new Godzilla movie to video.
MST3K Episode 502 Episode Rant We are talking about the original Hercules, and the events that occurred when we met him in person. It was July 1998's rant.
MST3K Episode 504 Episode Rant You want to see a really cool super secret spy. Then this month's rant about Secret Agent Super Dragon is for you. It was February 1998's rant.
MST3K Episode 211 Episode Rant We here aren't really sure what that rant was about. It's partly about future technology not being so great, and something about the new world order.. It was January 1998's rant.
MST3K Episode 602 Episode Rant Really, this was more about the short "A Date With Your Parents" that appeared in the Red Zone Cuba episode, but I had to do it. Oh, and it's January 1997's rant.
MST3K Episode 303 Episode Rant ALF gone horribly wrong. I couldn't decide on which character to punch first. Anyway, it's Pod People and it was October 1996's rant.
MST3K Episode 519 Episode Rant I crapped bigger than this film. One of my favorite Mike Nelson shows, it's Outlaw. This was July 1996's rant.
MST3K Episode 314 Episode Rant Warm up the Electro-Scout! Mighty Jack, an episode that you'll never see again. Pick up the rant. It was May 1996's rant.
MST3K Episode 705 Episode Rant Leave the Bronx! Escape 2000 was in fact the sequel to 1990: The Bronx Warriors. It starred Fred Williamson. I tell you this because there is nothing to talk about from Escape 2000. Oh, by the way, this was March 1996's rant.
MST3K Episode 424 Episode Rant That magical Manos assaults us. Once the haunting Torgo's Theme music gets in your head, you know you're doomed. February 1996 was a good month for this one.
MST3K Episode 513 Episode Rant This months rant is about The Brain that Wouldn't Die. It revolves mostly around the loss of Joel/gain of Mike, and some chicks head getting cut off. This was January 1996's rant.
MST3K Episode 416 Episode Rant When you have a title with the word "Porno" in it, you can't go wrong. The Compuserve upload has had over 300 downloads . . . probably guys using "porno" as a search string. It was December 1995's rant.
MST3K Episode 415 Episode
Rant It's the Beatniks . . . Father Mannix NO!. It's from November
of 1995. It's waiting for you.